What day is it? Well, you can decide

I find it hard to believe Halloween is passed and now we are headed to the holiday season.

Oh, the holiday season.

But wait, it’s been the holiday season for quite a while now, right? Every store you walk into and most fliers you get in the mail have had Christmas-themed deals for months now.

When did this all happen? When did it become acceptable for Christmas decorations to be up in Walmart in September?

I guess I will never understand how this came about. Was it Amazon? Was it the people who love Christmas year-round? Is it psychological? Emotional? Insanity?

Maybe all of the above.

I certainly have been accused in my life of being sort of a Scrooge when it comes to holidays. I admit, holidays to me aren’t that special. For my entire life, it seems holidays have been nothing more than a way for people to make money.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against people making money; quite the opposite in fact. I’m a capitalist.

But this holiday stuff seems to have gotten out of control.

Sure, there are the “traditional” holidays we’ve all known for years. Christmas, Thanksgiving, July 4 and others. These are the core holidays I probably enjoyed in my youth, especially Christmas I would assume.

But over the past few decades, it seems everything is now marked with some sort of holiday. Sure, they aren’t official, but still, they are annoying. Or are they?

There seem to be days for everything. A day to Bring Your Dog to Work Day (June 26). There’s Wold Naked Day (Feb. 6), Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day (Jan. 22) and one of my favorites, World Sword Swallowers Day (Feb. 28).

It seems if someone can come up with a hook, or a sword, we can make it a holiday.

This is where things have gotten out of control. When there were just “normal” days of celebration, it seemed more real. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’m going to go out and get a sword and see if I can shove it down my pie hole during the last day of February.

Here’s an interesting one I found: Look for Circles Day. On Nov. 3, this strange observational holiday is where people challenge themselves to spot circular shapes everywhere they go.

I’ll probably never get a’round’ to that one.

I think most of these “special” days have been created in recent years, but here’s one that’s been around since the 1960s: Yellow Pig Day.

The unofficial holiday was created in the early 1960s by Princeton mathematics students, David Kelly and Michael Spivak, while working on the special properties of the number 17.

It is unclear why the day was called Yellow Pig Day or what a yellow pig has to do with the number 17, though legend has it that it is in reference to David Kelly’s collection of yellow pigs. The mascot of the holiday, the yellow pig, has 17 toes, 17 eyelashes and 17 teeth. Better mark your calendars now for July 17, 2027, to take this one in.

Wow, I feel so much more educated now. Maybe I’ll go find a yellow pig.

Pluto Demoted Day is a relatively new one, which began after the scientific community decided Pluto was no longer a planet. On Aug. 24, 2006, the planet was officially downgraded as a mere body orbiting the Sun.

Many people were aghast at the scientific community’s decision. I have to agree: Who died and put them in charge of determining the status of celestial bodies?

Here’s one most of us know: International Talk Like a Pirate Day, which is celebrated on Sept. 19.

John Baur (“Ol’ Chumbucket”) and Mark Summers (“Cap’n Slappy”) created this holiday on June 6, 1995. Out of respect for World War II’s D-Day, Baur and Summers chose to move the date of the holiday to Sept. 19.

Today, the holiday focuses on raising money for cancer research, a great cause.

Did you know Julius Caesar was captured by pirates — twice?

Argh mate.

As I was researching (diving into the interweb) this column (on the fly, mind you), I was astonished at just how many of these days exist.

From Rice Krispies Treat Day to Embrace Your Geekness Day, you can find just about anything.

I guess the good news about these holidays is you don’t have to run out and buy a gift for someone. Well, maybe a box of Rice Krispies, but have you seen the prices lately?

Not sure what you would get someone for their geekness. So that’s a good thing.

As is so often the case with this diatribe, I began with the thought of not believing Halloween has passed and have managed to ramble into geekness and pirates.

Do you think a pirate could also be a geek? I doubt it, but if it were the case there would probably be a day to celebrate such a combination.

Maybe we can come up with our own special days.

I’m not sure what I would come up with. The possibilities seem endless.

Count Your Quarters Day? Writers Block Day? (That may be appropriate for this column.) Film the Sheriff Day?

How about Write One More Column About Keyboard Cowboys Day?

Heck, this is getting kind of fun. There are so many days I could come up with to have a goofy celebration.

But wait, didn’t I say I loath holidays?

I Loath Holidays Day?

Why Do Stores Put Out Christmas Decorations in July Day?

I may not sleep tonight trying to figure out just how many of these I can conceive. Maybe that’s why there are so many of them listed on the interweb. Seems everyone can come up with just about anything.

But then how do you get it to go national, international or even beyond Pluto level?

That’s a tough one.

Maybe a podcast? Seems everyone and their dog has one of those these days so why not?

I’ve often considered a podcast, but one with a more serious tone. Now, maybe serious is not the right approach. Maybe it’s a little more on the lighter side.

National Lighter Side Podcast Day?

Okay, I’m getting out of control.

I considered ending this column with a good, old fashioned, “Bah, humbug!” But that doesn’t seem appropriate now since I have been embracing these special days and even coming up with my own.

Thankfully, I’m done now, just like Halloween.

Greg Little is editor of the Mariposa Gazette and can be reached at greg@mariposagazette.com