Just a good, old fashioned bitch session

I was sitting here staring at my computer and trying to get my brain wrapped around the idea of writing an extra column for this month!

I didn’t figure on writing an extra one but I told Mr. Little I would and I would like to be a woman of my word. Thoughts started buzzing around in my head and I tried to slow them down just a little so I could make sense of them (the thoughts you know).

Then I had this weird thought that didn’t seem to go away: what if I wrote about all the things we complain about; you know, just lay them out there and see what happens.

Then it popped into my head that’s really, in plain talk, called “bitching” isn’t it?

Well here it goes …

Our main talking points are: weather, traffic, finding things, irritating happenings, food, etc.

We had some rain but that helped me because I didn’t have to worry about plants, but if it had kept up I would be getting depressed. That’s what days of rain does to me.

Have you been having to drive to Fresno lately? All of our doctors are in Fresno so we are on Highway 41 quite often. Have you ever been behind someone going 35, maybe 40? How did you feel, honestly?

I got so upset one time and in the passing lane I got up to 65 and I thought, good, I got around them, but I then saw a red flashing light in my rear view mirror, and I pulled over. He was a very nice young cop and asked me for my license and I got it out, then he asked me very politely did I know how fast I was going.

I said yes I had gotten up to 65 to get around them and he said, “Didn’t you know the speed limit is 55?”

And I told him I did but I was in the passing lane! He informed me it didn’t matter which lane I was in it was still 55! Well I told him I was not stupid and would have I passed even you if I thought I was in the wrong?

He talked to me for a little while and let me go; no ticket. I thanked the Lord and went on down to Fresno.

Have you ever lost something in your house and couldn’t find it? I did last week. I had been given this terrific drinking cup for my birthday last year and I loved it. It was with me all the time. I am trying to drink more water. I couldn’t find it.

I looked all over and even got the family involved but no one could find it. I finally took out another one which I didn’t care for and tried to make do.

Two days later my husband came into the room carrying my lost cup! It had been set down among his drums in the office.

I can also tell you about an irritating happening in the supermarket. I was standing in line to check out with just two things in my hand and this very small foreign lady came up behind me and give me a shove with her elbow and proceeded to step in front of me. I was so flabbergasted that I let her get away with it.

I don’t have too many bad things in the way of food but I did have one experience a few years ago that stuck with me so long I didn’t go back to that restaurant for a few years. I never ordered that same thing again.

I have to tell you we had stopped for breakfast and I was looking over the menu. They had French toast with bananas and walnuts on top and it looked delicious! I ordered it and when it came it looked just like the picture — perfect.

I ate the bananas and walnuts, delicious, then I cut into the French toast and it wasn’t done. Needless to say I didn’t eat it, but the coffee was good.

Now I have told you about my things that make me bitch, how about you? Got any juicy tales from your past or do you ever have a good bitching session?

Well thank God these things don’t happen very often, right? Please let me know if you have something to tell me I would love to hear from you.

Shirley Bailey is a resident of Oakhurst who has written columns for years. She can be reached at fexybailey@gmail.com or send a text message to (559) 760-0459.