Navigate wisely through this, and all, holiday season

Happy holidays! We have Thanksgiving this week, Christmas and other religious holidays or celebrations in December and New Year’s Day in January.

Lots of things to do and purchase, people to see and places and gatherings to go. It’s often a season of busy, busy, busy.

The holiday season can definitely feel like you’ve been thrown a curve ball. Many of us strike out on that pitch.

Did you know, “When life throws you a curve ball you can either duck, get hit, or swing …” We get to choose how we want to participate in the holiday season: we can attempt to hideout (duck), we can have the attitude of ‘I have to, so fine, I’ll do it” (get hit) or actually choose to fully participate (swing).

Fully participating doesn’t mean that you have to attend every single celebration/party/ gathering that you’re invited to. It means participating because you choose to, because you want to. You go and enjoy yourself, other people and the celebration itself.

You may choose the attitude of “Fine, I’ll go. I don’t want to, but fine, I’ll go,” as your way of participating. In this case, you’ll attend — you’ll be there physically but the rest of you will be somewhere else.

You won’t want to be there; you’ll find reasons not to talk to others that are there and you won’t be interested in any of the conversations you hear. It will be more like getting hit by a curve ball.

Swinging, fully participating in each celebration of the holidays has you doing just that: fully participating. You’re there because you choose to be there; because you want to be there. You’re there to enjoy the company, the food, the drink, whatever there is to enjoy. It’s all in how you approach it.

Any of the choices are yours to choose. There is no right or wrong way to participate in the holiday season, though some may disagree with me.

Many of us have been raised that there are certain ways to enjoy the holidays; certain ways to cook, to travel, to give and if we don’t do it the way it’s expected, then we did it wrong. This is a time that you get to choose what works for you.

This can also be a painful time for those that have loss associated with the holiday season. Maybe it’s the first season without a loved one; that’s always tough.

Maybe you have just moved to a new location, everything is new and different, and you don’t have any family or friends close by to celebrate or be with.

Getting out and participating in community events is a great way to meet people and get to know them. Yes, it may be hard but what do you have to lose? You might make some terrific friends!

As we move through the holidays and you notice some aren’t as happy as others, maybe check in with them and see how they’re doing. Not everyone has a happy life rhythm during the holidays. Being a friend could be a contribution to their season.

Remember, we get to choose how we “do” our holiday season. Smiles, gratitude, thankfulness; we never really know how much of a difference they make for someone else.

Deni Krauss is a transition and grief coach. She can be reached at deni@denikrausscoaching.com, facebook.com/DeniKrauss, linkedin.com or at (415) 516-3035.