Growing and thriving? Or fading away?

We talk about life’s rhythms on a regular basis. It is, after all, the name of this column.

Last month I talked about my 50th high school reunion and that it brought life’s rhythms from the past into the present.

We talk about life’s rhythms: out of a graduating class of 217 (small town), 49 have passed away. Those are the ones that we know about. While it’s sad to see that many are no longer with us, I was glad to see they were honored with a memorial wall at our reunion. There were many memories stirred up: the past being brought into the present.

While my actual life’s rhythms from high school are in the past (thankfully), people that I associated with are now beginning to be in my present, and perhaps, in my future. This is by choice, not as a requirement.

Right now, in the present, they are part of my life’s rhythm. They’re often in my thoughts; I find talking to them, being in communication with them, is comforting. It’s familiar (of course it is) and comfortable.

It’s interesting to see how we’ve all grown, or not grown. I noticed one person who seemed to still be operating along the lines of their high school attitudes. That was interesting.

Many have had jobs and careers outside of the home since high school; some chose to stay home and be caregivers. Some went to college and graduated, some went to college and didn’t graduate and others didn’t go to college.

It doesn’t matter who did what, it was interesting to see how we had all grown up; all of the different life rhythms.

We, as a group, talked about the town when we were growing up. Many of us were disappointed in what it has become, even those that never left and still live there were disappointed.

When we were there, the town was a growing and thriving town! Its life rhythm was alive! The population was 18,000 when I left and it grew to 30,000-plus at some point. It was family-oriented, it was a community. We all knew each other.

Now, even though the population is about 25,000, it’s as if its breath has been taken away. It is as if the heaviness of life has landed and settled into the ground of this town, into the walls of the buildings and the asphalt of the streets and it’s not going anywhere.

It seems as if there’s no pride in the town; as if people don’t care any more. It’s where they are, it’s the hand they’ve been dealt. Period.

So they deal with it. I find it sad that people don’t seem to be interested in changing things, in changing the towns’ rhythms, in having it be better for themselves and their community.

Another thought: maybe they’re happy with it the way it is. The way we see things isn’t always the way it is for others.

If we look at our own life’s rhythms, we may see a similarity between the life of this small town and our own lives. We can see at least one high point in our lives; we can probably see several high points.

Maybe it was high school, maybe it was college, maybe even somewhere else in life with children growing up or in our jobs and careers. We were growing and thriving at these points in our lives. Life was good!

Where are we now? Are we still growing and thriving? Or have we tossed the towel in the ring and walked away? Do we care about the world around us? Or just about ourselves?

What do you see for yourself and your life? What’s next for you?

Deni Krauss is a transition and grief coach. She can be reached at deni@denikrausscoaching.com, facebook.com/DeniKrauss, linkedin.com or at (415) 516-3035.