Finding holiday meaning wherever you can

SECOND HALF
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It’s weird to think it’s already almost Christmas again. I think I’ve had a love/hate relationship with the holidays for a pretty long time.

I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time I wanted to actually make the effort to decorate and set up a Christmas tree.

It seems like it’s been a pretty long time since Christmas has meant something to me.

I may be a downer by saying this, but Christmas has felt like a waste of time to me for the past several years.

We’re taught that the holidays are supposed to be a time for family and getting together to celebrate what we’re thankful for.

When you actually look at it, a lot of the time the holidays seem to be anything but that.

Everyone is stressed out about money, buying gifts and hosting get-togethers.

Not to mention the chaos of families getting together to see who will cause some kind of argument first.

I think working retail for so long soured a lot of things for me. It bothered me that people would come in and completely show their ass over something like a cookie jar being out of stock, only to go back home and try to act like the perfect host to a house full of guests.

I wonder if their guests knew that their perfect host had just cussed out a college student over a cookie jar only hours before.

It was just kind of mind blowing to me that people put themselves through that kind of crap every year.

I know, negative Nancy over here.

Both of my grandmas passed away within about three weeks of each other, right around Christmas time.

That was sort of when the last little spark of Christmas spirit left.

During the past two years I’ve really put some thought into making the holidays mean something again.

Over Thanksgiving weekend this year, I went to a tree lighting/ Christmas celebration at Shaver Lake.

I was quickly reminded of how special Christmas can be, especially for kids.

It’s always about the kids isn’t it? They’re pretty great.

Santa arrived in style on a firetruck with lights flashing and sirens blasting.

There were so many small kids there hoping to get a glimpse of Santa, and maybe even talk to him.

I was quickly reminded of that special feeling I felt when I was a kid.

The looks of awe and anticipation. Santa is a pretty big deal and it was fun to see the reactions as he made his way through the crowd.

Some kids went right up to him; others were a little more cautious and opted not to. I couldn’t help but smile when I heard some talking about writing a letter instead, hoping that they didn’t miss their chance because they were a little scared to talk to the big man himself.

Seeing this play out made me think of a special memory I hadn’t thought about in awhile.

It was during a visit in my early 20s to my parents’ house over the holidays. Several of my nieces and nephews were there.

There was definitely some tension, as there sometimes is when you have that many people in a small space for extended periods of time. I told one of my nephews to get his coat and gloves and meet me outside.

I think he was somewhere between six and seven years old at the time.

As we went outside into the garage, I saw that my dad still had the old school radio flyer sled. You know the one with the metal rails.

My nephew had never seen or used a sled like this and I was so excited to show him.

We walked up to the top of the street as my siblings and I had done so many times through childhood.

I had him sit on the sled and I showed him how to steer it once we got going.

Then I ran, pushing him on the sled and I hopped on behind him as he steered us down the street.

I’ll never forget the laugh and happy squeals that came from him that day. I can still see that toothy little smile.

He was so happy and of course we had to do it again, and again … and again.

At one point he said, “this is the best Christmas ever!

I think we were out there for almost an hour when my nieces realized we were no longer inside and came to join us.

In that moment it wasn’t about the decorations, money or who got the best gift.

It was just about an old sled and spending time with some pretty special kids.

The holidays truly are about reflecting and being with the ones you love, blood related or not.

Whatever the holidays mean to you, I hope it’s a pleasant time of year and you get to enjoy it.

Amanda White is a staff writer for the Mariposa Gazette and can be reached at amanda@mariposagazette.com

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