Domestic Violence Awareness month is here

Domestic Violence Awareness Month started as a single day in 1981, a national Day of Unity on Oct. 17, declared by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

The purpose of this Day of Unity was to raise public awareness around domestic violence and to support abuse survivors. This day quickly became a week to allow time for various activities, which commonly included celebrating the resilience of abuse survivors, mourning those who have died as the result of domestic violence and creating connections between organizations that work to end this public health issue.

Eventually, in October of 1987, the very first Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed; and in 1989, Congress passed Public Law 101-112, which officially established October as the federally observed Domestic Violence Awareness Month, or DVAM.

Since then, October has continued to be a time to acknowledge domestic violence survivors, be a voice for its victims and to further educate and spread awareness.

Domestic violence is prevalent in every community. It affects millions of people each year regardless of age, socio economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion or nationality.

In the United States, more than one in three women and more than one in six men experience some form of Intimate Partner Domestic Violence, or IPDV, in their lifetime. Thirty to 60 percent of intimate partner violence perpetrators also abuse children in the household.

IPDV starts early, approximately one in five women and one in seven men first experienced some form of partner violence between the ages of 11 and 17. In our own community from October 2025 to present, Mountain Crisis Services has received 178 hotline calls.

So what is intimate partner domestic violence?

IPDV is a deliberate pattern of behaviors used to gain and maintain power and control over a partner. We often use the Power and Control Wheel when discussing these behaviors.

Many believe that there’s one big moment where domestic violence clearly begins or that one would be able to tell from the beginning, but it’s not always easy to see. Physical violence is the most obvious way to gain control over another, but it does not have to be present for it to be IPDV and it’s often not the first tactic used.

Intimate partner domestic violence often starts with coercive control, things like love bombing, manipulation and isolation, hidden under the guise of love. Then, the person who causes harm begins to test boundaries; a series of small events, little moments where one gives up more of themselves, and their freedom, to try to keep the peace and bring back the person they loved in the first place.

The person who causes harm escalates, in many cases to physical and/or sexual violence, until the survivor’s biggest concern is making it through the day without an incident. There are often moments of reconciliation and relative calm in-between, which can give the survivor hope that there won’t be another incident, before the tension begins to build again.

The time in-between incidents can shorten over time as well. This is called the Cycle of Violence. At this point, survivors’ self-esteem has been broken down and their lives are usually completely controlled, making it very difficult and often dangerous for them to leave.

Intimate partner domestic violence is a serious issue that has lasting and harmful effects.

Survivors are three times as likely to meet the criteria for PTSD. They are three times more likely to develop a major depressive disorder or engage in self-harming behaviors, four times more likely to attempt suicide and six times more likely to have a substance use disorder.

Living with continued trauma like IPDV can have a profound effect on one’s body as well, including conditions affecting the heart, muscles and bones, and digestive, reproductive, and nervous systems, many of which are chronic. But there is life after IPDV and inner healing is always possible.

Prevention must be a priority. Promoting healthy, respectful and nonviolent relationships and communities can help reduce the occurrence of intimate partner violence. This is a societal issue, it affects us all whether directly or indirectly, and we are all in this together. We can create lasting change.

Whether you’re a survivor, know someone, or just want to support our mission, here are some ways you can get involved:

• Purple Day: Show your support by wearing purple on Oct. 15! Our office will have purple ribbons, bracelets and keychains out for community members all month long. Stop by our office at 5075 Hwy 140, Suite C.

• The Clothesline Project: We invite survivors to share their stories by creating a T-shirt. Examples and supplies will be available, or bring your own T-shirt if you would prefer. Join us during our Peer Support Group hour Tuesdays from 3-4 p.m. at the MCS office.

• Raffle: MCS will be holding a raffle for DVAM. The basket includes a box of meringues, peanuts, a small serving dish and a holiday craft. Tickets are $1 and can be purchased at our office. A winner will be drawn on Oct. 30.

• Donate to MCS: Your contributions help us to continue supporting survivors, every donation directly supports survivors in our community. Donations can be brought into our office.

• Volunteer: MCS is looking for volunteers for our 24/7 Crisis Hotline. This would require answering crisis calls, providing support to those on the other line and responding to law enforcement or the emergency room when a domestic violence or sexual assault survivor is present. Training is required and provided, hours are flexible, and calls can be taken from your home. Call our business line at (209) 742-5865 or visit our website for more information.

If you are a community partner who would like to collaborate, or would like us to do a presentation to better understand what we do, please reach out to us by email at kristen@alliance4you.org.

Mountain Crisis Services welcomes all who come to us for support. Our services are free, confidential, and voluntary.

If you are in a domestic violence relationship, or are unsure and just want more information, please call our 24/7 hotline at (209) 966-2350 to speak with an advocate. You are not alone, we are here to support you when you are ready.

Melina Winchester is a peer counselor at Mountain Crisis Services.